“Your girl isn’t bossy...your girl has executive leadership skills,” says Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and author of Lean In. Sandberg shares that from an early age the term “bossy,” is unevenly applied to girls, painting assertiveness as an undesirable characteristic for women. The reluctance to come off as bossy can cause insecurities for women, roadblocking their success and stalling workplace equality. 

Over the course of an hour, Sandberg and Marc Benioff discussed Sandberg’s success as an executive, her view on gender equality in the workplace, and even a few tips for an improved sex life (for any male readers, I would suggest doing the laundry and the dishes). Delivering a few key points from Sandberg’s Lean In, the conversation started at the current state of gender politics in the workplace, then attempted to trace the origin of the disparity.

Sandberg posits that female insecurities rooted in fear, accepted gender bias, and differing expectations for men and women, are all culprits for sustained gender inequality. 

Responding to Sandberg’s assertion that women can struggle with confidence in a professional setting, Benioff asked, “What is the source of this insecurity?” 

“It’s stereotypes and culture. Everywhere in the world men are assertive leaders, and women are submissive,” stated Sandberg.

By assuming a more submissive gender role at a young age, women can then struggle with the confidence to assert themselves in the workplace. To help combat this insecurity in the workplace, Sandberg has installed Lean In groups at Facebook—small groups which provide an open forum for women (and men) to discuss these issues, offers their insight, and support one another. 

Gender bias is still a pervasive issue, says Sandberg, which is hindering workplace inequality. Sandberg the point that the unofficial mentorship and coaching that occurs in an organization is often and Old Boy’s Club. This prevents women from attaining the insight, knowledge, and sequential confidence from accomplished superiors.

If one can think of their career as a marathon, Sandberg says that women receive different messages from men throughout the race. While men are encouraged and praised throughout the competition, women are constantly reminded of their impending maternal responsibilities that conflict with career advancement. Women are still expected to halt their careers, often in their prime of their advancement and earning potential. These pressures should be met head on, says Sandberg, emphasizing the need for communication and transparency. 

Find more information on Lean In here, and learn how Bluewolf leans in with the Women Innovators Network.

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